don't give me park avenue

For the past two weeks I've been working from home, from my very new home in boston in fact. Woke up this morning to the sound of rain pummeling the roof like hail, and wasn't surprised to find in my inbox a string of impatient emails from my colleagues in new york announcing that they would be quite late, because they were stuck with hoards of wet, angry, rainy new yorkers waiting for the 1 train, the 6 train, the B train... the L, F, 2, 3 and A, C, E trains.

then we got this email:

Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007
8:59 AM
To: [entire firm]
Subject: MTA Alerts

As most of you know by now there are some serious problems with transportation today. The following is the list of alerts from the MTA website
http://www.mta.info/alert/alertnyct.htm
Due to severe flooding throughout the subway system, there are extensive delays on all subway lines. Customers are advised when at all possible to use bus service. The detours are as follows:
The R train is running on the N line in both directions between the Canal Street Station and the DeKalb Avenue Station.
There is no 1 train service in both directions between the Van Cortlandt Park-242nd Street Station and the South Ferry Station.
There is no 2 train service in both directions between the Wakefield-241st Street Station and the Brooklyn College-Flatbush Avenue Station.
There is no 3 train service in both directions between the Harlem-148th Street Station and the New Lots Avenue Station.
There is no A or C train service in both directions.
There is no E train service in both directions between the World Trade Center Station and the Jamaica Center-Parsons-Archer Station.
There is no F train service in both directions between the Jamaica-179th Street Station and the Forest Hills-71st Avenue Station.
There is no F train service in both directions between the Coney Island-Stillwell Avenue Station and the Jay Street-Boro Hall Station.
There is no 4, 5 or 6 train service in both directions between the 149th Street-Grand Concourse Station and the Borough Hall Station.
There is no L train service in both directions between the Canarsie-Rockaway Parkway Station and the 8th Avenue Station.
There is no 42nd Street Shuttle L train service in both directions between the Times Square-42nd Street Station and the Grand Central-42nd Street Station.
There is no J train service in both directions between the Jamaica Center-Parsons-Archer Station and the Broadway Junction Station.
Astoria-bound N trains are running on the D or M lines from the Coney Island-Stillwell Avenue Station to the 36th Street Station.
In addition, due to debris on the track at the Church Avenue Station, the B and Q trains are running on the D or N line in both directions between the DeKalb Avenue Station and the Coney Island-Stillwell Avenue Station.
Please expect delays in service system wide at this time.


I'm positive that even if you've never set foot in new york, you can conclude, correctly, that the above describes basically every. freaking. line. in the city. the email might as well say: you, new yorkers, are trapped like rats in an impossible subway maze; give up and go home. Nothing like missing (and not missing, in the least) a bunch of drenched new yorkers commuting through a city wide subway blackout to make one appreciate the joys of working from home and the delights of good old beantown.