it takes finals

It's not a coincidence that after a two month hiatus, I suddenly find myself compelled to write two days before finals. How could I study simple harmonic motion and conservation of momentum when I have a blog to update? really.

studying physics and chemistry reminds me how much I like reading and writing and researching. qualitative questions, books, the ebb and flow of words and ideas - I'm so into it. I've wondered this semester on pretty much a daily basis whether it makes sense to force myself into E = mc squared submission, to feign interest in pendulums and acid-base reactions. Of course this is just a stepping stone. Of course I knew pre-med pre reqs would be difficult, and they are. What I didn't anticipate is how hard it would be to force myself to develop an academic interest where it doesn't naturally occur. And I had no idea how much I would miss the writing, thinking, questioning, types of academic work I love. This is the first time in a long time I can recall being in school and disliking the learning. Is it worth it?

I have huge decisions to make soon about how to proceed. Namely, do I plug ahead and sign up for a second semester of chemistry and physics? Do I focus my efforts on an NP program? Do I do something else entirely? incredibly stressful questions to pose, difficult to answer, but it's time to resolve.